Reply To: Tznius

Jewess: I don’t mean to be argumentative (or maybe I do), but I don’t think you are seeing things from my perspective. So let me help you out in that area.

Let’s say we are talking about someone named Leah (just a Jewish name picked out of a hat). And Leah went to Bais Yaakov of Who-Knows-Where. And she has been taught all her years in BYW that we are frum Jews. And as a frum female, it is incumbent upon us to dress in a way which we call tznius. And part of tznius is defined as (let’s just stick to the basics) wearing skirts covering your knees at all times in public, tops with sleeves covering your elbows and collar covering the collar bone. Let’s say that Leah grows up and she is no longer in BY anymore, but still lives in the same community. She is shopping for clothes and she wants to look good. She loves this cute outfit, but the length doesn’t quite cover the knee and it’s a bit too tight. If she chooses to buy it, her friends and neighbors, who all went to BY or Yeshiva of Who-Knows-Where, will see her wearing it.

Don’t you think if Leah buys and wears that outfit for all to see, she is making a statement? I will answer my own question: Yes, she is.

What I am trying to figure out is “Why does Leah, born and bred in a frum family, having gone to a BY, wear an oufit she knows is questionable as far as tznius goes?”

Jewess, I have a feeling you are talking about a completely different scenario.

I think that sometimes it’s jealousy that makes some women hate the way that others dress. They may be jealous that somebody else looks good, or they may be jealous that somebody else is dressed in clothing they wish they could wear themselves.

This may be true of others, but it is not true of me. Why should I care if someone else looks good? If she looks good, I compliment her!

You want to know why this bothers me so much? Because my husband, who is the most temimus-dik guy, who doesn’t even notice if a woman is 8 mos. pregnant, who turns away immediately if we happen to pass a not-tznius billboard – he is noticing and commenting in surprise and perplexity on what he is seeing in our area. Now, if my husband has noticed something wrong, it is as obvious as a sledge hammer blow.

I am not the tznius police! I say nothing to my neighbors who dress in short/tight/clingy clothes. But inside I am dismayed and saddened for them. Is it wrong of me to want to raise the level of tznius in my area? Why would you discourage me from doing so?