Reply To: Shidduchin as a Business

Bemused:

Thanks for the laugh I needed it.

I agree. However, the professions that you mentioned are specialized (in some capacity or another, slightly or greatly).

If a shadchan would get professional training, knowing how to deal with people, setting up a system that WORKS, then I would say charge a fee and people should pay the shadchan like any other professional. This happens, it is called dating websites. The professional shadchan that yeshivish people use is an individual who meets boys and girls for 30 seconds (not exactly exaggerating), has a resume with all the “proper words” on it, and then tries to set up the people according to those facts. With the current crisis this system they set up is not working (by the way, I do not believe their is a crisis per say, but with my generation there are more and more individuals not wanting to get married, boys and girls both. Or are afraid to get married due to the increase in divorces and hardships that are occurring in the world (primarily financial)).

I’ll give you a better analogy. Shadchanus is like head-hunting. A head hunter does not get paid until they set the person in a job for 3 months. So too by a shadchan, they should not get paid until they set the person up in a marriage and it lasts 3 months (which is a big milestone these days).