neatfreak, I live in NJ and work in NY. But the point is not really just taking *my* money its that you are taking money from all the people in your state. Sure, you pay taxes, but you are unnecessarily removing money from the state programs when you don’t *need* it. Remember, in today’s economy, more people than ever *need* services to get by. If your husband can find a job, he should be taking it.
You say you aren’t comfortable taking, then don’t. Its a choice you are making. YOU are not really sacrificing for Torah, you are forcing the people of your state to.
I explained above what the difference is for education vs Kollel.
Feel guilty or not – that is up to you. I am just voicing my opinion.