Reply To: 100% Solution to Shidduch Crisis–Goral

HaifaGirl, thanks for kind words.

To address the complaints of others here that there are many undesirables, possibly there can be a multiple tier system. For example, if a person has an impeccable letter from a well-known person attesting to his or her character and fitness for marriage, and if furthermore a panel of shadchanim determines that his or her personal hygiene is A-1, he or she goes into Tier 1. If their appearance or hygiene is not A-1, they go into Tier 2. If their character is flawed and they are dangerous, they are unfortunately put into a nonmarriagable category. When I say appearance, I do not mean that one is a model or movie star, just dresses and carries themselves 100%. Of course once you do this, there will be people who demand that weight enters into the equation as well, as a criterion for determining one’s tier.

However, the more intervention there is, the more hurt feelings and the less it is a true goral.

Haifagirl, you have a good question about the money, but lmayseh, either way, a person needs to come up with money for his or her wedding or borrow it. If there is no financial pressure, people will back out, and the system will not work.

As far as those who say I am making fun of singles, chas vshalom that should be true. I feel their pain, and I know wonderful girls (and guys) who I grew up with who come from wonderful families and are attractive who for some reason never got married. Some people come across as shy, although they are great fun once you get to know them. It is to prevent perfectly good people from being stuck with nobody that I thought of this.

I recently read an article about a politician who wanted to save his county lots of money by consolidating all the school districts under the control of the county executive which would eliminate much duplication, but at the expense of towns losing control over their schools. He said, look, if they don’t want this, I fully understand, I guess they aren’t feeling enough pain (over the economy) yet. When they start feeling enough pain, they will give this proposal a second look.

It is hard not to have the joy of picking out your own bashert. However, possibly the pain of not getting married is far worse.