inspiredteen wrote:
But what do you want the girls to do until they turn 20? They shouldn’t teach because they are inexperienced and we would Chas Vishalom want them to go to college! So what should they do???
You want to know what girls should do until 20? The most obvious answer is go to college so they can support their future husband in Kollel. And if you really think that college is assur, so send them for shana bet in seminary. If their parents can afford to support an uneducated daughter and son-in-law then they can probably afford another year of seminary in Eretz Yisrael.
And if they start going out before 20, what are they doing anyway? Is dating/marriage a full-time job that it gives them something to do? They should be going to college or teaching during this time anyway, dating or not. I don’t agree with you that they shouldn’t be teaching because they are inexperienced. Many girls have the ability to teach well. And how else will they gain this experience?
I do agree that not all girls should start dating at 18. Some 18 year-olds are much more mature than 24-year-olds and should start dating immediately if she so desires. Others should wait a few years. There shouldn’t feel pressure because all their friends are getting married, they should do whatever is right for themselves and have bitachon that they will find the right person at the right time.
And I don’t understand this whole solution anyway. There are plenty of stories of couples who at first did not go out with each other because of age and a few years later ended up married. I’m sure the experiences that each had during the years before agreeing to go out helped them to better appreciate each other later. Whether a girl’s bashert is close in age, much older, or even younger, she will marry him eventually no matter when she starts dating. Hashem has a plan for everyone and although the numbers might seem to not make sense, they make perfect sense to Him.