Mybat and Poster:
“”a good looking sweet woman will attract a man no matter how commited he is . Men should not fool themselves – this is the way Hashem created man.”
I would acquiesce to you that point that a VERY good looking women would always attract a mans eye, however, that does not mean that the guy would stray from his marriage. If he has a true marriage then he would think that his wife is the MOST BEAUTIFUL LADY in the room, no matter who is in it. That is marriage. When a person strays it does not matter if they have guests over or not, the person would cheat on his wife even without the “excuse” of guests because the couple does not have a relationship.
Now if you want to say that the post-shidduch crisis is because we do not give young couples enough time to make a foundation for their marriage. That they don’t feel that the other is the most beautiful, special person in the world, then that is a problem with the marriage/dating system we have in place and it should be changed.
This means that during the courtship period and the first year of marriage (which most newly married couples usually spend together and not with friends) they should get to know each other and build their relationship. It does not mean that he should be in the bais medrash all day and she should be out working 12 hours a day to support him, and neither would have time to see each other let alone get to know their respective spouse.
Furthermore, they should start building their relationship once the dating gets serious and through the engagement period (since the dating “for the maximum of 6 weeks” certainly does not facilitate a relationship). This new idea that once the couple gets engaged they should only see each other once a week and talk only 3 times a week just hurts the marriage from the start. They are going to be living with each other, hopefully, FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!! The faster they get to know each other now the better their marriage would be in the long run.
Guests over for meals and going out with friends is not the problem. It’s not having a marriage that is the problem.