Reply To: The Post-Shidduch Crisis

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You brought an interesting point to the conversation, which leads directly to the the topic at hand (post-shidduch crisis).

You wrote “there are others that married out of pressure and or of convenience”. I am glad that people are getting married, however, to get married for those reasons makes a perversion of the concept of marriage. I am sorry to say, but we are no longer in the middle ages, we (at least litvish (is that how you spell it??)) do not have arranged marriages. We are not european nobility where the children get married to form alliances (though I do believe this still occurs in the chasidishe world).

We should stop forcing girls and guys to get married to someone that is not right for them just because we are afraid that they won’t get married at the ripe age of 19. We should not advocate that girls get married right out of seminary (if they are not ready) and boys to marry for money (which is happening according to my cousin who is a professional shadchan).

If couples get married because they are truly right for each other than one of them will always stand up for the relationship no matter what is happening. And 99% of the time the couple WOULD see each other as the most special, beautiful person in the world.

So instead of advocating not having your friends over for meals of getting together with your friends as couples, let us ban marriages of conveniences and pressure. Let the couples marry because they like their spouse.