Our daughter Wilma* had her bat-mitzvah last year.
We had a very simple celebration. We invited family, a few close friends and the girls in her class. We served milchigs (bagels, spreads, baked ziti, lasagna, etc.) in a shul basement that doubles as a simple hall. We encouraged Wilma to come up with a chesed project idea for her bat-mitzvah, which she did (she grew her hair long and donated it to Locks of Love). We had some Jewish CDs for music and there was no dancing.
For our son’s bar-mitzvah, we established a policy of no speeches — except for *short* speeches by me and the bar mitzvah boy. We continued that for Wilma — I spoke for about five minutes and then she spoke about the parsha and how it related to her now becoming obligated to keeping the mitzvos.
Overall, it was a very nice affair (IMHO) which was not ostentatious, had religious meaning and yet allowed her to commemorate the special day.
The Wolf
*No – Wilma’s not her real name. 🙂