In our circles we dont celebrate bat mitzvahs any differently than we do a birthday party. While a Bar Mitzvah is done in a catering hall with guests, flowers, invitations, speaches – the works.
Men and women equal rights seems to me to be a goyishe thing, not sure why.
WolfishMusings, I think the idea of encouraging your daughter to come up with a chesed project idea for her bat-mitzvah is beautiful, and the idea she chose almost brings tears to my eyes. It is special when children see growing up as not just turning a year older but as a chance to become a special person and to make a difference.