Bombmaniac much of what you write is correct but some of it is dangerous,
Ex, If a student looks at a Rebbi as “what makes you better then me, after all I’m paying your salary” all the positive reinforcement in the world will not help the Rebbi get through to the child. Period, that’s a guarantee.
In light of that it is incumbent upon a Rebbi to ensure he is someone worthy of respect and it is incumbent upon parents to ensure that their children are aware of the respect they must have for their Rabbeim.
As to the statement about Gan Eden and Gehenomm in my earlier post I already wrote about how this topic is written about extensivley by the Balei Mussar who are the first to talk about a need for a balance but a correct balance.
I would wish to reiterate that one would think it should be obvious that chinuch should be treated as college, meaning if one gos to school to become a doctor then the curriculum will be focused on preparing him to be a Doctor. Similarly chinuch is preparing a child to assume the obligations of being a Jew and therefore should focus on attaining such a goal.
This means that the focus of chinuch under no circumstances can be to ensure the child has a memorable childhood.
Please do not misconstrue what I have written to mean that I think a child should not have a pleasent childhood rather understand that I simply mean to say that one should ensure that the memorable childhood does not ensure a miserable adulthood.