Tzippi: Both sides should think long and hard about what is fair to do for someone who looked out for their precious child and
1. came up with an appropriate idea (they went out 3 or 4 times)
2. Worked (many times many hours) to get have both parties agree to the suggestion)
3. spent time (in many cases hours on end) helping to arrange the dates, speaking to both sides after the dates etc etc.
This has as much to do with the community as paying for ones private electric bill!!
Why are we such chazerim thinking it it coming to us?????
A shadchan owes any individual girl boys or their parents
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ZILC – get it???
Other than to not be negligent which by and large the overwhelming number of shidduchim by both professional and non professional shidduchim are sincere suggestions NOT attempts to deceive.
I don’t think even KiloBear trully believes that is is widespread.
Dear KiloBear: If you do make such a claim please support it before you are motzei shem ra on the many many shadchanim who have devoted their lives and sacrificed any semblance of privacy and personal life to help the singles in our community come get married.
I would be impressed if year in year out you can come up with 10 situations of what can be called deliberate misconduct and shalom bayis problems resulting that is directly attributed to the shadchan misbehavior. Please don’t dwell on the few taht happen and negate all the good that gets done.
Consider that thousands of shidduchim a year are redd and probably about 2,000 get engaged and married (but these numbers are not hard and scientific). A small handfull of bad people shouldn’t be cause to paint the group in the light that your are.