and THAT is where the system miserably fails oomis. right at your post. there are a few reasons why a high school kid might obey rules.
they are afraid of being kicked out
they are afraid of detention
or…they love and respect their rebbeim and what their rebbi says they follow.
ideally yeshivos should run on the third one. it is better for everyone, the teachers have a better teaching experience…and the students have a better learning experience. however that is ideal…and will never happen in the purest sense, so there have to be rules and punishments set up. that being said…the most important time of a bochur’s life is high school. they make very important choices in high school that affect the rest of their lives…and that is a big responsibility and “achrayus” that no one can possibly bear on their own. they NEED the guidance of their rebbeim to help them make these decisions. in order for the rebbi to help a bochur make the proper decisions he needs to know certain private and intimate details about that bochur in order to help him make a decision that is right for HIM.
are you starting to see the problem? its rules like that that estrange a rebbi and talmid. if a bochur feels like an animal in a cage in high school…and sees authority figures there as dog trainers…they will never trust and love their rebbeim enough to let them in. rules are important without rules there would just be chaos…but everything in moderation. make too many ridiculous rules and it will just backfire.