Tupim, this is one of those things which goes down to the base of who one is as a human being. If we met face to face and talked it out we would probably find that our positions were very close. The differences come from life experiences, subtle differences in the way we were raised, the relationships which we admired and the ones which bothered us when we were very young and everything was still magical.
Maybe restating it will help?
A child should always honor his or her parents and respect their opinions. Loving parents want what’s best for their children and would like them to avoid the last generation of mistakes and regrets. No arguments there. But ultimately our children are themselves. They have to live their own lives, make adult decisions as adults and answer for it to the Final Judge.
When we are infants we cannot make choices, and as little children the decisions we make have small consequences. Growth is a process of making the harder choices and taking responsibility for the results.
A good person honors his or her parents and would rather do almost anything than directly oppose them.
A good parent doesn’t push things to the point where the son or daughter has to make that choice. If you force that choice you’ve already lost.