Ir,
You misinterpreted what I said. I didn’t say to completely ignore the parents. Certainly a young single should consider his/her parents’ advice in these matters. But s/he is NOT bound to them. In fact, the halacha in this area is pretty clear — if you father tells you to marry someone whom you do not want to, you DO NOT have to obey him.
The same applies here. It would be great if the single and the parents could come up with a single set of criteria for a spouse. But if, in the end, they cannot or will not agree, and the shadchan has to go with one over the other, then the shadchan MUST go according to the wishes of the single. To say otherwise would be to say that the single must date (and possibly) marry someone they don’t want.
The Wolf