It is very sad when one reads that boys are not mature nor are they thinking of getting married when parents push them to date and get married. If a boy’s head is only in learning and not in finding his soul mate, then he is definitely not ready to get married. Boys who are entering the shidduch arena, rather young men entering the shidduch arena need to be prepared for the responsibility of marriage and relationships. That in itself causes friction and problems in marriage. Marriage is not a transfer from your parents’ home to a home with a wife where the wife takes over the role of the mother. So if a bochur is not mature enough or is not truly thinking about marriage, that is a situation that has to be dealt with before he starts dating. Even if the parents pick the perfect girl for him, they cannot move in with them and direct or orchestrate his emotions, reactions, contributions, responses, attentiveness, appreciation, gratitude and love for his wife.
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