oomis1105
You comment
“they should be paid for their HISHTADLUS, not for whether the shidduch goes through,”
Agreed. For some reason this is not done in our communities and it is a travesty.
“if it’s as time-consuming as you describe.”
You clearly don’t have any good friends who are active in shidduchim if you are unsure of whether it is as time consuming as i describe.
“Anyone who wants a shadchan to work for them, should sign a contract as with any service, and pay a fee (say $100 or so). THEN they have the right to make those calls to the shadchan, and the shadchan has to make an obvious and sincere effort to find a shidduch for the son or daughter.”
Again you are totally unaware of the the process. People who don’t give the shadchan a penny – call (some receive close to 100 call a day) day and night DEMANDING (due to their frustration and desperation) that the shadchan look out for their daugther. Shadchanim generally being nice people don’t have the heart to say no, and therefore they end being treated like dogs…..
What do you suggest should be done about that.
This is not only true for the “professional” many many people who do not consider themselves “proffesionals” are spending HOURS and HOURS EVERY DAY trying to help the poeple who reach out to them simply because they don’t have the heart to say no. This is at a tremendous cost to their personal and family life.
And then we offer a kibud at the chuppa – oh and we will be gracious and send them some flowers…….
What are we thinking. And then we complain we don’t have enough shadchanim…….