ronrsr:
“If a payment is required for honest labor, which this is, please tell me in advance what that fee will be. I will not think less of you.”
If only everyone was like you….
However, presently most shadchanim are made to feel like beggers after they complete a shiddcuh. Most (including the big time “proffesional”) shadchanim do not have a set fee as they are not businessman. Addditionally, the whole concept of paying them for their work is distorted in our pysche. Thus they don’t feel comfortabel asking for anything- certainly not when someone calls and asks them to help and they haven’t produced yet.
YES- the feeling on the street is that if a shadchan DARE ask for a upfront arrangement – they WIll be thought less of….
It’s high time people who called shadchanim realized that they are asking someone to work for them – the caller should insist up front offering a salary commesurate for work done – NOT just if the shidduch gets completed.
I wonder how many people who had to pay would still hound the shadchanim day and night. When things are free – people undervalue/ abuse…..