AZ: It doesn’t sound like anyone is suggesting that someone pay a shaddchan $20. It sounds to me like that shaddchan might tell people he charges a $20 minimum, as a way to make them comfortable paying whatever they can afford. It would be ridiculous to give a shaddchan $20, but I don’t think every shaddchan should get paid $1,000 or more from each side. If I go to a shaddchan who is not very helpful but happens to pick the right girl for me, I would be comfortable giving him $500 or so. If the shaddchan is helpful and spends a lot of time working for me, I would feel obligated to pay something even if the shidduch didn’t go through. Also I’m curious, how would you feel if the parents of a chosson or kallah didn’t give you an acceptable amount and the chosson/kallah offered to pay you in a few years when they can afford it?
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