Reply To: What to Look out for While Dating

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#681909

I think that what people should look for while dating is compatibility , maturity, and responsibility.

I believe that this trend is due to boys and girls living in a virtual world without any sense of reality.

Most of the girls are taught that they should look only for a learning boy. However, none of the teachers are educating these girls, what it means, how to live a kollel wife lifestyle. Most of these girls are 19-23 and have never had much responsibility in their short life. They expect everything to be “peachy” until they get into their first fight with their husband (and fights do occur in marriage) or the first bump in their young marriage, and they go running back to their parents.

The same applies to the boys. I believe that boys are never taught how to interact with a girl and that the chosson classes do not come close to teaching them the intricacies involved with talking to, living and dealing with a spouse. This will lead to strife.

Furthermore, I believe that dating a boy/girl for only an average of 6 weeks is not conducive to a wholesome relationship. One does not find out the secrets a person has(and everyone has secrets, some big, some small)in such a short time (don’t forget they are only seeing each other a few hours, at most 6-7 hours, each date). One can easily gloss over or hide his/her shortcomings in this time period.

I believe that dating should be spread out over a couple of months at the least. In this way, a person would be able to truly get to another the significant other, and gain an accurate awareness of the other person. This would help tremendously with the decreasing the amount of “broken engagements,young divorces and unhappy marriages”.