So much to say, much of it already said by others…
I am one of those young people, every other week we hear of another divorce r’l, either one of my friends or one of my husband’s friends…
I have 2 bits of advice, they sound a little contradictory, but I like to think of them as two sides of the same coin.
#1: Have someone older OTHER THAN your parents who you can go to for advice. Of course your parents are important and you should listen to what they have to say, but you have to remember that when it comes to your shidduchim, they too are ‘nogeah b’dovar” and they too can have clouded judgment. It is a good idea to have another adult you can talk to for a true “third party” perspective that may see things that both you and your parents may miss.
#2: You have to know yourself, what you’re looking for, and what you’re comfortable with. If you are seriously uncomfortable with something- the person, how fast things are moving etc- DO NOT allow others to discount that or to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. Marriage is serious business, and it is HARD WORK (how pathetically unprepared most of our peers are for marriage is another discussion that requires its own thread).
Many people above have suggested that part of the problem is that couples aren’t dating for long enough. I agree- but only to an extent. We know plenty of couples who got engaged in 6-8 weeks who ended up divorced in as many months. Should those couples have waited longer to get engaged? Probably. But we also know plenty of couples who met in NCSY in high school and dated for 3-4 years, or people who didn’t want to decide too quickly who dated for a year or 2, and these couples were divorced just as quickly as the ones who dated for “too little” time. My point is, you have to do what’s right for yourself. If you’re still unsure 2 months in, don’t go and get engaged just because everyone is telling you that you ought to know by now. Conversely, don’t drag things out an extra 6 months just because everyone around you is saying that there is no way you can make such a monumental decision in only 2 months. The extra time can hurt things too (as in, after investing all that time, people decide to go ahead despite reservations because they don’t like the idea of having wasted so much time on one person). Again, you have to work according to your own comfort level. Chanoch l’naar al pi darko really needs to be applied to shidduchim as well.
Of course, all the other things that people have said about middos, hashkafah, maturity etc apply as well. But I think that’s all included in my points: if you have that outside mentor and you move according to a pace that’s comfortable for you, you should be able to sort out those essential aspects and avoid getting too far into a doomed relationship.