Do what your gut tells you to do. Being alone might be difficult, but being with others might be more difficult. Only you can make that decision. There’s nothing wrong with spending an evening with R’ Eliazar, R’ Akiva, and R’ Tarfon. And my guess is that the Rambam, Rashi, the GR”A, and contemporary commentators from our generation would be good seder company, too.
Sometimes, even the right decision is not easy, or pain-free; but that does not mean it is not the right decision.