Yanky, it is sad that your family is torn apart and you have to take turns sharing your children for Yomim Tovim. But, please understand that as difficult as it is for you to go enjoy another family’s children and have a family style seder, choosing to feel depressed and segregating yourself from ahavas yisroel and allowing others to have the mitzvah of hachnosos orchim, will also have a profoundly negative effect on your children. THEY don’t want you to be alone and miserable and if you enjoy a happy and healthy relationship with your children why would you want them to feel bad or guilty that they are not with you?
Yanky you are not alone, Hashem gives each of us our own nisyonos. B”H, you CAN see your children when you want to, and you know where they are and that they are well. There are so many families whose pained children have gone off the derech or worse and their empty seat at the seder table reflects the emptiness the family feels without them. These parents and siblings can’t see this child whenever they want, they don’t know how to reach them and they don’t know if s/he is OK.
No matter how bad off we feel we are, in emes others are suffering just as badly if not worse. So please choose to count your blessings. You can’t undo the divorce or make what was wrong right, but you can appreciate the fact that your children are happy and healthy and that you will be spending the second half of Pesach with them; and will have them for the sedarim next year. Think of it as preparation for when they are married and you will have to share them with the michutanim.
Please think about what I said and I hope you will choose to NOT be alone but to spend Yom Tov joyously with your friends or other family members. I am sure that your children will be happy that you are not alone and that they will have a much better Yom Tov not worrying about you.