” Actions speak louder than words, so if she dresses like a BY girl and her friends all live in Lkwd and she turns down all the YU boys because they are not “frum enough”
Where from ANY of my posts, did you EVER get the idea that she and her friends are BY girls and from Lakewood??? YU boys are unfortunately now too young for her, but from RIETS they would be frum enough (at least the RIETS that I remember from 30 years ago). Modern Orthodox Machmir means just that. Modern Orthodox, but davens in a minyan
every day, wants a boy who doesn’t miss a minyan, makes time to learn (even if an hour a day in the evening), wants to grow in his hashkafa, but also is well-educated and makes a living in a chosen field. She has specified this over and over, but keeps getting shidduchim with boys who are either black hat yeshivish and still in Beis Medrash at age 28-32, or like to go clubbing and to bars. Both types are at extremes (for want of a better word) that she is not interested in. My children have never
portrayed themselves as anything other than what they are, which is to say, eidel, balabatish, frum, but also very active in the secular world. And that is what they are looking for in spouses.
Most important, if someone specifies to a shadchan that they have a deadly fear of
something tangible, the shadchan should NOT set them up with someone who wants to bring that tangible whatever into his future home. A shadchan who does that is a fool or shows very little regard for the client he is suppsoed to be helping.