To Volvie: yes, the dowry was practiced through the doros and you know what? Girls didn’t get married in Europe. It also skipped a generation or two in America. We are encouraging girls to do something radical and that is be the primary support of the family, go out from the penima to an unprecedented degree. Maybe we have to rethink dowries. And I’m not a numbers cruncher, but I do have to wonder, was the dowry demanded 100 or more years ago equal to the five year plan (minimum 1k a month = $60k) or apartments in E”Y that are nearly standard now? Should people support kids – not help out here or there but a hefty chunk of the budget – if they can’t pay full tuition for their minor children or anywhere close to it?
And AZ, the way I follow the reasoning is we have to close the gap, right? Then if there are shidduchim not within the range, is the gap being perpetuated? Do you see mandating marrying within the range as something desirable? If it takes a generation to even the demographics then will this poor behavior continue till then?
Again, I refer people to the Rabbi Reisman shiur referring to the dignity of the bas Yisrael, specifically re shidduchim.