BPTotty, if you bought your home for $200k and its now worth $400k, that’s $200k in equity sitting there. If you have “spare” $200k shouldn’t you give SOME to tuition? Your house is an INVESTMENT. It is comparable to stocks in terms of equity.
Think of it this way:
Family A has a house that has $200k in equity but doesn’t use it. They have 3 kids and instead of paying $30,000 a year for tuition pays $15,000. Family B rents instead of buying because they can’t afford tuition if they buy and pay $30,000 in tuition. School has to fundraise $15,000/year for family A. When all kids are out of school, Family A ends up with a nice nest egg because someone else donated money to the school. Family B has nothing because they paid full tuition.
My cousin never said they asked people to bankrupt themselves. The committee has limited scholarships to give out and if someone has an investment to tap into, they should. They aren’t asking people to mortgage up ot the hilt, but to contribute fairly.
Schools are not looking to make profits, they are looking to pay their bills. If you can’t pay your portion, it has to come from somewhere.
I’m not sure what your knowledge of Northern NJ is. I live in Teaneck – in a middle class neighborhood (with some rich people). Clothing is much more simple than in Brooklyn or Lakewood (for example, many boys wear nice pants and a button down shirt for Shabbos instead of a full suit – so savings right there. Women rarely wear suits.) Cars are more of a necessity in Teaneck than in Brooklyn, but most people don’t drive fancy cars. People don’t walk around dripping in diamonds. Few people I know do Winter and Summer vacations and don’t go away for Pesach.
Cost of living is higher here sure. But most people I know living in Brooklyn live on a much higher reference than those in Teaneck. Especially when it comes to clothing.
As to the number of children – I’m not commenting on how many children to have or not. I’m just saying that a family in Teaneck with 3 kids in school has a $45,000 obligation for tuition. A family in Lakewood with 9 children ALSO has a $45,000 tuition obligation.
And tuition IS optional. You can homeschool your kids or you can hire a rebbe for a talmud torah type environment. Most things in life are optional, with the exception of basic shelter, basic clothing and food.