OY, I am SO sorry, Best Ima. It’s like telling someone who has a developmentally disabled child that they were “chosen” because they are so special. No one would ask to give birth to an unhealthy child, no one would ask for the “Zechus” of losing a child with a pure neshama. People say such things when they cannot think of things to say, and that is why when one goes to pay a shiva call, we are ot supposed to speak at all until the aveil says something first. And then, we should limit our comments to expressing our sadness at their pain and loss, and if possible, to say something uplifting from our memory banks about the niftar. Otherwise, it is best to keep one’s mouth firmly closed and possibly be thought a fool, rather than open it and remove all doubt.
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