Thank You all so much for your kind words and tefillas. I know it all helps. B”H I am benshed with an amazing husband and family. I also have a Rebbe who I can speak to at any time.
I have had chemotherapy on Tuesday which really is testing but I know that iy”H in another few days I will begin to feel better and stronger Bezras Hashem.
I do look for things to be grateful for which helps. e.g I tell my children : If you feel thirsty and have a drink and feel good be happy! At the moment it is difficult for me to drink as chemo makes a very dry mouth. I am looking forward to enjoying having a drink soon!