Health, just because others don’t agree with you doesn’t mean that they feel they are superior.
You should talk to average frum Bais Yaakov girls. Let’s see if the majority of their lives were smooth sailing without some pain and hurt caused by others, by other girls and mechanchim.
Life is not about excuses. Life is about growing. I’m not saying once someone left the derech they can never return. Totaly not. Teshuva can be done as long as one is breathing. However, to look for excuses as to why someone went off the derech is just that – looking for excuses.
There is no excuse for davka causing pain and hurt for others ESPECIALLY vunerable children. Those mechanchim or parents who do that will give din vechasben. However, sometimes a mechanich can make a mistake and as far as I know mechanchim are human and if one makes a mistake in judgement here or there, we must be them dan l’kaf zchus.
Btw, Health, in a previous thread you were discussing that sin is caused by a ruach shtuss. Now I find it interesting that those who go OTD with excuses of mental illness you excuse with the fact that you feel that they have a ruach shtues. How about applying that to girls who, yes they acted mean (although we can’t really judge them from hearing one version of the story – there might be a different valid version here)but let’s say they were mean because they had a ruach shtuess, acted silly and immature, but are basically good girls (hopefully) and excusing them with the ruach stuesh stuff as well as those who went OTD. Chazal did not say that only those with mental illness can be attacked by a ruach shtuess. So let’s get them off the hook as well.