Reply To: Cause For Teens At Risk?

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You are presenting your speculation as fact.

I try to write I think, or it’s my opinion. But since I write so many and such long megillas and because I’m usually in a rush to get my thoughts down between all my motherly duties, when my baby naps, the kids are playing outside or at night (when I really should clean the windows, wash the walls, and put away laundry… oh well), I sometimes neglect to specify my thoughts exactly as I mean it, just like I make grammar and spelling mistakes as well because of this.

I believe most of us in the CR are mature enough to realize when one is stating a fact or an opinion.

Now the Torah’s wisdom is forever and if a child is mechiav at age 12/13 to fulfil their halachic obligations then this halacha is so for eternity it doesn’t matter if they are ready for marriage or for work or not. They are still need to perform their halachic obligations.

The way halacha is applied today (boy, did we chew over that in a different thread) is different because our lifestyles are different than years ago. I’ll grant you that.

However, halacha as it is applied today is still halacha and therefor a 12/13 year old child is obligated to follow the halachas relevent for them.

Hashem’s halachas are binding in every generation – there are no exceptions. But since Hashem did not give the Torah to malachim his halachas are able to be carried out by humans whenever they are applicable.

Therefore, although because of the way we live today 12/13 year olds don’t get married, don’t work and generally are considered immature enough to exclude them from major decision making, they still have obligations they must fulfil and Hashem who created these laws that bind us in all generations knew exactly what could be required of 12/13 year olds. And we do see these cute “little” bar mitzvah boy, some of them seem to be wearing hats bigger than them, performing halachas that are an obligation to them.

And if they are obligated they also have the choice of c”v not fulfilling the halachas because of bechira, which we see some boys unfortunately do as well.

I am continuously amazed by the divine wisdom in the Torah which knew that even at what we consider to be such a young age, merely a child, the Torah knows that they need to fulfil their obligations at this age so that it will shape them throughout their teenage life and then the end result will be a man or woman who’s service to Hashem is already part of them.

No one is asking anyone kid to make huge, big decisions. the decisions that they are already making they must try to make the right choices and Hashem helps them.

My kids who are younger than 12/13, they are in their tweens,very much have the ability to choose between doing right or wrong in the decisions they face. These decisions are not major, it’s everyday behavioral choices, but they are still choices.

No, when they turn 12/13 they still won’t have the maturity to make major decisions but the Torah doesn’t require that.

aries, you make it sound as if kids in pain cannot make any decisions. You say “they want to rip and tear the pain off of their bodies, out of their hearts and their minds.”

First of all, don’t generalize. There are indeed kids that are in much pain. I definitely agree with you. There are also kids that are NOT in pain, they just want are just not interested in Yiddishkeit for various reasons.

Now we all have feelings and wants and opinions. In the face of halacha they matter not one bit. Therefor, if Hashem felt that a child of 13 whose in pain is still obligated to wear tztizis, he is still obligated, finsihed. If he chooses to do wrong and doesn’t fulfil that obligation, there’s the possiblity of teshuva. However that choice, the bechira of not wearing tzitzis is still his.

There’s no such thing that because he’s in pain he doesn’t wear tzitzis. Rather, because he’s in pain, he DOESN”T WANT to wear tzitzis.

I’m not saying how he will be judged by Hashem. I’m not talking about that, I don’t know and it’s not my business.

I am saying that

1. even kids in pain make choices

2. and those choices are called bechira

Kids generally go OTD much later than 12/13 years of age. Kids who make wrong choices by 12/13 doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll go OTD.