I definitely agree with you that chinuch cannot be applied in the same manner as we did even only 50 years ago.
Perhaps that is the problem, as you say, the parents are the same. Today’s generation requires a different approach.
I do believe though that most parents approach chinuch differently than their parents.
However there is still a lot to be desired. I don’t agree with doing the correct things as parents, only because the kids shouldn’t go OTD. Although the goal is that kids should live a life Bderech Hachaim as adults, it is definitely of paramount importance, but we cannot go through life doing things, being scared of disiplining them or whatever choices we make, just so they should’nt go OTD.
What I find totaly missing today is that parents DON’T TALK ABOUT HASHEM! Yes, we say burach Hashem and that’s where it stays. But a lot of parents never talk about Hashem with their kids, or what a gift Yiddishkiet is.
MOST parents do NOT KNOW their kids and do not understand them.
A lot of parents don’t have time for them between their jobs and, dare I say it, a bunch of kids, they have no kesher to, because not everyone has the emotional kochos to have a kesher with 10 kids.
I do think that most parents are not controling, are nice, albeit frustrated by the pressures of life in the 21 century, but they do want to do and be the best parents they could.