I have always said that an obsession with avoiding woman is still an obsession with woman. Just think about what “very” frum men have on their mind:
1) Is this woman wearing appropriately thick or flesh tones stockings
2) How much of her hair is showing out of her shaitel
3) How tight or lose is her clothing
4) open toed shoe, dangling earrings, too much makeup
5) Can she wear pants under her skirt or not
6) Should a woaman go horseback riding
And the worst of all is how may think in these terms about children. Its perverted. For anyone to think of a child in those terms is sickening. I have no words to describe how disturbing it is that many newspapers block out pictures of five, six year old girls. Its not an impressive thing. That they feel they “need” to do it is just very scary.
A goy, or even a jew who isn’t carefull may notice a woman for a second and move on. They dont spend to much time on those womens personal issues. That all these frum guys are sitting around and discussing the fit of a womans blouse is horrible. I venture to say that they are the worse ones, not the goy.
A posek who must address these issues for woman to know what to do is a different issue. Thats their responsibility and extremely appropriate.