I know a lot of young women who were very happy to choose this lifestyle until they had a couple of kids and could not handle the pressure any longer and did not know how to tell their husbands they didn’t want to live the life any longer. They were so stressed out that they couldn’t concentrate on their job and were too exhausted to do be the mother, homemaker and wife when they got home. They no longer wanted to be the breadwinner and resented the fact that they were expected to keep going. They also resented the fact that their husbands had no clue how they felt and felt very removed from them emotionally because of it. They felt that their husbands should be more in tune to them and their feelings and that they should have picked up on their uneasiness and unhappiness and that they should be asking them what is wrong instead of them having to come right out and tell them that the arrangement is no longer working for them.
As important as learning is, shalom bayis is more important and I think that one thing that is never mentioned is that a couple should sit down and re-evaluate and renegotiate each year without resentment, to make sure that the arrangement is working for both (if not all, children included) parties. As long as both partners agree each year to continue with the arrangement they should keep on going. But as soon as the wife feels burnt out, or even the husband feels burnt out or sees that his wife is over burdened, they should renegotiate. Whether it means he has to help more at home, or he has to take a part time job, or take over the entire burden, whatever is necessary to secure the shalom bayis as the main priority in the home.