It is totally unfair that the onus is constantly put on the “WIFE” or woman. NO she doesn’t HAVE to tell her husband how she feels. HE should notice some things on his own and HE should be able to tell when things are getting too much for her. SHE should not have to complain about it. HE should have enough hakaros hatov to his Eishes Chayil that he is keeping an eye on the issue and not be blinded to it. A MAN is not entitled to this “luxury” and I will say it again, IT IS A LUXURY when a wife takes over a husband’s obligation to be mepharnes the family and allows him to sit and learn Torah. For him it is an amazing luxury to not worry about working and finances, but to be able to concentrate on the pure joy of learning, emes hana’ah and luxury.
So a MAN should have gratitude. Yes he should be grateful every single day and have an eye on the situation and realize if it is going as well for his wife as it is going for him. HE should ask how she is doing and how she is feeling. HE should show as much concern for her needs as she is showing for his. Marriage is not one sided and should not be only about what the husband’s needs and desires are about. So to make that the focus of the family is unrealistic and a lesson in disaster. Saying that SHE should tell him is asking her to cop out on her agreement and that is exactly what she is afraid to do. HE has to make it safe for her to say that she can no longer continue and needs to stop.