Health, I find that most people don’t know how to answer people (mostly) kids who are in pain and are looking for answers. They don’t understand why these kids are running away and don’t understand their need to run. They argue instead of listen to understand. On the other hand when they are speaking to baalei teshuva or people they are trying to be mekarev they are so very willing to listen to their story and understand where they are coming from and where they or their family went on the wrong path in order to understand how they can show them how sweet yiddishkeit really is and how they can find the answers they seeks in the Torah. By the time most people who are involved in Kiruv find their “prey”, they see lost souls searching and looking for something that is missing in their lives. It is not so difficult to offer someone that has lost something a chance to recover it.
On the other hand someone who is in pain and running away from that pain and needs to be caught, held and comforted needs people who are willing to love them no matter what! Unconditionally, no matter what they look like, no matter what they say or sound like, no matter what rules or how many rules they are breaking because they are in a different matzav. They are not searching for something, they are running away from something. They are trying to numb their pain and suffering and trying to put space between themselves and their hurtful issues.