s.c – I wish you much Koach to deal with your obstacles. I don’t know you but I want to answer somethings you said. I knew a couple people, also rough, who went through some very, very hard trials. I did find that, with them, it was alot more suffering in their perception of how they were treated than how they were really treated. One would make herself very difficult to be around (semi vulgar language, often putting down Rabbis or others even in front of the kids at the shabbos table)and then complain that the community was cold and unwelcoming to BT’s. Another would reprimand others children harshly but her own son would sometimes get out of line and it went unnoticed. People tried very hard to take these people in but when it became too difficult, the blame was put on the fact that they were BT’s. I am NOT accusing you of any of the above behaviors, I am only suggesting that when we are hurt and insulted by others it is always recommended to see if we are looking at the situation objectively and if we are sure we saw/heard what we think we saw/ heard. Keep your chin up, many of us out there are davening for you!!
Secondly, why is sitting in front of a computer in forums like this with men and women mixed any different than saying Good Shabbos to a stranger? I personally say hello to any Jew I pass (as do most people in my city) and I think the recipient has the option to ignore you if he/she so chooses.