It is really a matter of priorities and understanding the difference between “wants” and “needs”. Every child deserves to get what they need. However, kids should learn that they don’t always get what they want no matter what they see other kids get. One really needs to set the rules in their own home. No two homes are exactly the same, no two homes have the exact variables. Even two siblings will raise their children a little differently because the spouses obviously come from different homes therefore they bring something different to the table and their perspective and point of view changes the family dynamic.
One home might be big on healthy foods while the other serves snacks all day long. Will you choose to feed your child sugar all day because your neighbor does? NO, you have to do whats right for YOUR family and that goes for every aspect of the decision making process. Your next door neighbor might have one daughter and she might have 10 Barbies. You might have 6 daughters and you might have limited them to one Barbie each. Does that make you a bad mother? No! Does that make your children under privileged? I don’t think so. Does that make that other mother over indulgent? Not really, after all she only has one daughter. She probably can’t help herself and it has nothing to do with what the child asks for, or maybe the grandparents, aunts and uncles have also bought her Barbies.
If you and your husband decide that bedtime is at 7:00 and your neighbors don’t put their children to sleep until 8:00 are you doing something wrong? Are they? Everyone has the right to make their own choices and no one should be afraid to choose for themselves no matter what the issues are. You don’t have to follow the crowd and you don’t have to make excuses for your choices. You don’t have to look what others are doing, and you don’t have to judge them right or wrong. You only need to focus on your own family, your own deeds, your own choices and your own decisions and stop worrying so much about everyone else.