philosopher, I am a child of Holocaust survivors and I can tell you that YES many were very, very spoiled because parents were so ecstatic that they had kids at all, that many gave them whatever they could afford to give including lots of jewelry. And many did not. It was a matter of choosing your priorities. And in that same way, one must choose their priorities today as well. One must not be concerned about what goes on in someone else’s home. Parenting means deciding what is best for your own children and not comparing or competing with the Cohen’s next door. Sure its frustrating when your neighbors don’t believe in the same parenting rules and procedures that you do, but you can’t control what other people do, you can only control what you decide for your own kids and maybe other parents might learn from you.
Right here in the CR you have no qualms stating your opinion and fighting for your right to say it. Well then you should have no problem standing up for what you believe in and explaining to your children why you feel it is best for them. Good parenting means you will not always win the popularity award with your kids. But that’s fine, you are not supposed to be their best friend, you are supposed to be their parent. And whether other children are spoiled or not should not make a difference to you. Yes I hear you and I know it frustrates you, but you can’t help that. Your job is to raise your children to the best ability that you can, and to bring out their best potential. Your job is to surround them with positive energy and make sure they understand derech eretz, mitzvos and maasim tovim.
Kids are always going to want what other kids have. Kids are always going to want what is on the shelf in the store. Kids are always going to want something bigger and better each Chanuka, Birthday and afikomen. That’s just how kids are. How you deal with it, and I don’t mean YOU personally, I mean any parent, will eventually determine your child’s character.
I am going to admit to you that in my neighborhood ALL the kids start driving at 16. I was the big meanie. I didn’t allow my kids to drive until they each turned 18. That is four kids that I did not let drive till their turned 18. I was the big meanie. ALL my kids friends were already driving at 16 but I put my foot down and said it is MY rule. My daughter was the oldest and then I had three boys. Honestly I didn’t think she was ready to drive and I wasn’t going to risk her life and the life of others just because everyone else was dong it. When she did turn 18 she was more mature and more coordinated and she drove well. Once I set the rule for her I couldn’t allow her brothers to drive before her. The rule was set and they all had to listen. And by the way, my husband was very happy since we pushed off how our insurance skyrocketing for 2 extra years a piece. Were my kids mad at me? You bet they were. Did I have the right to make that decision? You bet I did. Driving is a privilege and its not a right. Privileges need to be earned, and at 18, I felt they earned it.