Reply To: Are We Spoiling Our Kids?

aries, I agree with your last post.

However, I still think, and maybe that is not shayach for all parents as we each have our own style, that one cannot only make rules based on what one thinks is the right way. I have seen people, and I call them shitta mentchen, who for no money will they accept that they are too rigid in their demands of what they expect from their children. And it’s not that their demands are not correct. Rather they are not correct within their surroundings.

Taking a little example of the silly bandz. I personally feel that kids should not get something out of the blue. I feel they need to earn it, whether it is finishing a chart or whatever or it needs to be a special occasion. But when all my daughters freinds got the silly bandz, and my girls asked for them, I got it for them. No, I didn’t get two, three packs for each of my girls, like their freinds got. My kids got only one. But I don’t believe I should have not brought them any at all just because I don’t believe in not buying for kids just like that. I don’t believe it’s healthy for kids to drool over what others have. So yes, they got less than what others got. But yet they weren’t deprived.

That’s why I like the idea of an allowance as I’ve mentioned before, because it teaches kids to make their own (hopefully smart) decisions so at least when kids buy something, or save up the money they can learn lessons, such as the value of money.

Big things, such as bar mitzvahs, camp, etc. children should not have a say and of course parents should do what is best for the family, not what others are doing.

But again, my opinion regarding day to day life in the 21st century, I’m not talking what was in the previous generations, is that there needs to be a balance between not indulging and not depriving our children. And yes, there is the factor of the surrounding environment that a parent needs to think consider.

That’s how I feel about it, but we as humans and parents may have different opinions.