The question is where does the anger come from in the first place? Well, we have a chazal that equates anger to avoda zara. What the two have in common is that we all walk around with the belief that ‘I SHOULD get good service,’ people around me MUST do what I want, I deserve xyz….We think we are god and deserve to have what we want, when we want it. Well, if we are serving ourselves, then we can’t also serve Hashem at the same time. Arrogance fits right in here as well..the feeling of entitlement. Who said everything should work the way you want it? Why do you deserve that things should run on time…people should listen to you, etc….If we can try to replace this gaava with a feeling of humility that Hashem is in control and owes us nothing plus Hakoras Hatov when things DO go well, we get minimize the anger that we do have. Practice makes perfect and that’s the only way to lessen the anger is to repeat these messages over and over until they begin to take root in one’s psyche and the same goes for every midda.
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