ramateshkolian: make your post into a billboard. publicize it. don’t care how. this idea is ESSENTIAL to children of abusive or dysfuntional families.
eclipse: (i like ur username btw) i don’t know. i don’t know if it matters if the person isn’t the least bit sorry, i think one is still able to be moichel s.o who’s not sorry.
there’s a story in the gemara about a butcher who insulted a tanna (forgot which one). he never asked for forgiveness, so before yom kippur, the tanna decided he’d go to the butcher shop and give the guy a chance to ask forgiveness. on the way, he met another tanna, who told him it’s not such a good idea to go, it’s a sakana, rather forgive him in the first place without him asking.
so there you are.
(end of the story btw is that the first tanna went anyway to the butcher shop and presented himself to the butcher, who told him contemptuously that he had nothing to say to the tanna. he was in the middle of cutting a piece of meat with the bone in, when a piece of the bone flew up as a result of impact and lodged itself in the butcher’s throat, killing him. that wasa the sakana mentioned.)