Help!
Ok, so it’s clear that discussion is not relevant as far as yemey niddasah, right? We speak of yemey tehorah. The only source I have seen here to forbid is this Kedushas Shoshanim. Again, if a husband & wife are muteres, and even to see mekomos hamecusim (aka Shabbos 142b etc. top of my head and the fact the Shulchan Aruch finds a need to forbid mekomos hamecusim during yemey tumasah! why, it’s always assur!), as is mefurash in many places in shas and shulchan aruch – this kedudas shoshanim – speaks of a hanagah of kedudasha.
Which, of course, would not be relevant at all against the Shulchan Aruch.
And who is this sefer? A Rishon? An Achron? An old Yerushalmer? In Halacha, we work through shas, rishonim, shulchan aruch and the poskim. Random seforim usually we aren’t machshiv, if they are not coming from a place of Halacha. I have never heard of this sefer. The Hanagah of Avraham Avinu is wonderful; it’s obviously not a lav d’orayasah or d’rabban. One would be hard pressed to find it in the Money HaMitzvos – or in Shulchan Aruch!
(Other relatives brother & sister, father & daugther, are a different discussion, because they are Arayos, yet more kirvah is permitted w/them because a person doesn’t have tayvos for them – which is not the case by one’s wife – again, b’yemey tehorasa! and I’d like to get this Kedushas Shoshanim out of the way first)