thank you eclipse!!!!!! you took the words right out of my mouth, well, keyboard. but seriously!! this might come as a shock to some, but ahava (love) comes from the root word hav, giving. this shows that the essence of love is giving, which meforshim explain, means that the more you give to someone the more you love them. before two people get married, they’re not giving to each other (except maybe a watch and ring and shas…)so it doesn’t really make sense that they LOVE each other. care for deeply, yes, infatuation, could be. love, no. love comes after marriage; only after the two partners have given tremendously of themselves, can they really love each other.
given this, really any two people can get married and stay married when they have had the correct chinuch, either from home, school, or just self-taught.
the only reason this isn’t working nowadays (of course there are situations where it becomes impossible, i’m not talking about these.) is the very scary attitude of instant gratification in society, and yes, unfortunately, jewish society as well. it seems that people are less likely to work on themselves than they are to complain of not “getting anything” or wtvr it is that they complain about.
just a point about these impossible situations: very often, children of parents who fight, yes, even physically, would rather their parents stay married than get divorced. a home is the center of the child’s world. it doesn’t matter to the child what’s going on in there, as long as he has a ‘place.’ school is not a ‘place’ and i’m sorry to say, being shuttled between two homes is also not a ‘place.’ one home plus one home equeals no home. i am speaking from experience when i say that the children will very very often have surprising opinions when it comes to a seemingly clear-cut case of absolutely necessary divorce.
hatzilu!