I believe wholeheartedly that anyone in an abuse situation needs to document it via police reports, attorney intervention, private investigator, witnesses, etc. before going into legal battle. Have your paperwork in order so that you build a good case and you have the proof to back up what you say. Don’t be stupid and don’t be blind so you get blindsided by the courts and your spouse’s well paid attorneys. If you have bruises get them photographed and documented by physicians. If you are emotionally and/or verbally abused go for therapy and get an affidavit from your therapist. If your children are being abused, get an affidavit from their pediatricians and therapists. Get everything in writing before you even start an action and keep these documents in an off premises “safe place” like in your mother’s or sister’s home or the bank in a “private” lock box or at your own attorney’s office. Don’t wait to go to court and have your witnesses chicken out in a public forum. People are more willing to help on the spot and document abuse in the heat of the moment than when they had a chance to calm down and are called in as a witness in court.
Even if you have battered wife syndrome (or husband whichever the case may be) and you choose to forgive your spouse each and every time, know that you might reach the point of no return and will come to the realization that you can no longer forgive and move on. So the documentation will have to be pulled out of storage and used to help you exit the failed marriage.