It is important to understand how each person “needs” to be respected. It is not only important to understand how to respect others, but one has to get in touch with their own personal evaluation of themselves and know how THEY need to be respected. IF in any given relationship your needs are not being met and you and your needs are not being respected you really should take a good hard look at that relationship and see if it is really working for you or if it is only working for the other party in the relationship. I tell that to all my clients whether it is in a friendship aspect, a parent/child relationship, girlfriend/boyfriend, teacher/student or marital relationship. Lets look at the easiest of all relationships – friendship. Sure it is great for them to have you as a friend, you are a great friend and they are getting everything out of the relationship that they need, but are you? Evaluate if you are being respected int he relationship? If not bring it to their attention and see if they are willing to make the appropriate changes and adjustments. If not you need to make decisions about the relationship and why you are in it. Now you might not be able to make those decisions on your own. You might need to discuss them with someone, your parents, your therapist, your Rav. But eventually you are going to have to decide if the relationship is working for you or if you are going to have to move on and find new friends. Not everyone necessarily is going to be in your quality world or in your immediate circle of quality friends and relationships. Sometimes those closest to you today are not going to last throughout your entire life. And that applies to relative as well. Your closes cousins that you bond with when you are a child might just be a distant relative to you when you are an adult. If you don’t work on your relationship through the years, that can and does happen.
So the number of times one goes out with a person, or how much time people spend together might not be the real issue. The real issue is how you develop the relationship and how you respect each other throughout the relationship. Love is really not enough.