Aries-
I think you are reading my situation incorrectly. I do NOT believe that it was my lot in life to be married only to that one person, and therefore I cannot move on.
I am merely having trouble moving on because the whole inyan of being divorced is depressing (especially around the Yomim Tovim, as any divorced person will tell you) for many reasons, not the least of which is the financial toll it has taken on me.
You are correct that my children will be happier if I were happier and they have said as much (they are very mature kids).
But I know I need to be happy first with my own self before I look to remarry, something that is a major challenge for me. I am NOT looking to suffer in this world, believe me.
“They” say you don’t get married to be happy. You get married to be HAPPIER. Therefore, I am afraid to do a disservice to a woman by marrying her before I am no longer “broken”.