Philosopher, you don’t think its easier for an abusive person to behave on 3 dates versus 6 months? I’m sorry your post is a little ridiculous.
Sure, you can end up with an abusive spouse even if you date for 10 years. But the likelyhood is that getting to know a person over a longer period of time will reveal more about their abusive tendencies than not.
When I was single if I had a tough day, I just wanted to be left alone (go for a long drive or walk all by myself). You can’t do that when you’re married.
Dr. P, that’s not quite true. I tell my husband when I need space to destress. He understands. Its harder now with children – so if I need that time, I make sure the kids are taken care of (or asleep) so I can get that time.
Really, the most important thing about marriage is open communication. If the person you are dating can communicate (or is willing to learn how) then you can work on almost everything.