As a girl who was debating going to seminary in E”Y, and did in the end B”H, I have to say it was the best decision. Yes, its expensive, and yes, it may encourage a sense of entitlement by the fact that its ‘expected’ and ‘accepted’, but ultimately it changes you. Right after high school is the ONLY time in a girl’s life where she has a chance to TRULY work on herself, her hashkafos and develop her own ruchnius. She has very few responsibilities (no husband, kids, house etc.), so why not send her to a place that will enable her to reach the greatest heights? The clarity that one experiences in E”Y is unbelievable, and to have a chance to experience such menuchas hanefesh for an entire year is very special.
WITHOUT A DOUBT, I would not be the person I am today if I hadn’t gone to seminary in E”Y. My personal hashkafos, my dating hashkafos, and ultimately the wonderful husband that I was zoche to marry all stem from the foundation that I received in seminary.
To directly address your question, its not a ‘cop out’ for a girl to say ‘oh, i’ll change in seminary’, because she will! Its much easier to change in an environment of growth, where everyone around you wants to grow, then to stay home and live as you have always lived until then.
In terms of the expense, its very important to know yourself/your daughter when thinking about seminary in E”Y. No doubt there are girls who just ‘chill on daddy’s expense for a year’. All that really depends on the type of girl and the type of seminary she goes to.
So, YES, we do need it!