Ah yes, the resentment against being pressured by social pressure, and then getting mad at society. Cute. Silly, though. Maybe resist the pressure, instead of demanding society change? “They made me do it” is something we drop in kindergarten, hopefully.
But as far as the real question of – is it possible for a young kollel couple to make it without support? Yes, but it’s rough.
Let’s take eretz yisroel-
Min. 8000 NIS
Wife works like a dog as a secrectary – 4000NIS
Husband’s kollel check (good check) – 3000 NIS
Ok – another 1000? Sell snoods – 1000 NIS
and that’s bare bones. Assuming you’re will to forgoe meat during the week and live in tel tzion.
America? $2500 a month min. Same lifestyle. If you’re willing to go to an out of town kollel, it’s very doable. Dallas/Tronto/LA/Cinnanati – are all paying nicely (though in today’s crisis, I’m not sure who is accepting).
But don’t get mad at the people who have money. Or at the Bachurim who ask for it in shidduchim. Shidduchim are a supply and demand game. Simple economics.
Why so much anger? It seems like sour grapes to me. True, if someone is wasting his time, he needs to get a life.
But if a Ben Torah of caliber wants to learn b’menuchas hanefesh for years, and a family of a fine girl is willing to make that happen, and he wishes to prioritze that shidduch – what is wrong with that? Yes, “Kest” has been happening for hundreds of years.
What has changed is that now it’s more mainstream. There were less learners then. Much less. But supply & demand will always rule; even working boys ask for money (a house, etc.)
I don’t think we should be mad that other people have things we don’t. Kinnah is forbidden.