As an experience mother/grandmother who B”H married off all children i will comment:
1. A very ehrliche shadchan,who no longer practices once told me,
Mrs.—- , a shadchan is a liar. The only thing you could believe me is the name i give you. The rest is up to you to check out.
2. Even when you present things up front they are apt to change.
By one of our children one of the up front issues was the language to be spoken at home, to which the mechutin consented. At first the language held with the children, now the younger ones only speak English. When my mechutin called Erev Yom Kippur i did mention it…so what!!!
3. My husband smoked for 40 years and stopped cold turkey 2 years ago. The tobacco seeps in and can be smelled for a long time after. So for those who think they are fooling someone by smoking in shul yard, backyard, etc. all i can tell you is that the girl who does not pick up on it has a poor sense of smell.
My neice who is B”H married had dated about 2 boys she was interested in and they in her. She picked up on the tobacco smell and that was end of shidduch. One boy promised to stop after married, when stress would be less. After she married and went shopping for a bookcase, she ended up in a store which unknowingly was owned by her former suitor. Yes, there he was chainsmoking in the store. Yes, he got married before her ! When he realized who she was he turned red. No, he did not stop smoking.
Smoking is rampant,even with such as 11 year olds smoking. And guess what, alot are stealing to support this bad habit.
So add stealing to you shidduch blog.