Very well put Moq. Unfortunately I have seen this numerous times. I had a debate with a prominent Rav about this issue as well. He is under the impression that some well intentioned Mashgichim and Kollel wives can usually do the trick. When their is a real problem you need a real professional, and even those have to be checked out well as you mentioned. A relative of mine recently sent someone to therapy, and the husband asked me to check out her professionalism. No academic credentials, and yes she’s become an ally as well. She told me she had Rabbinic Approval, so I asked her who they were, she refused to state, saying that’s none of my business, everyone should ask whom ever they like. If the husband isn’t happy that’s his problem, let him ask his Rav what to do, the main thing is she’s happy.
This relative’s uncle recently got divorced, and we know both parties well. I really hope some ….. didn’t blunder with them as well.